Watch it happen. Watch me fade.
From glorious and gleaming perfection to flawed and horrifically imperfect obscurity.
Witness as it all comes to an end.
They all leave...sometime
When then, will it be your time?
But like so much outer space,
the louder I wish to scream, the less I am heard
I reach for some unseen hand, some possible foundation
There is no such thing, only my horribly cruel illusion
She misspells my name, I don't care
Calven is to busy crying to care.
It spirals and swarms around me, all the things I loved slowly turn their backs against me as their creditors take from me what I allegedly owe.
I didn't sign up for this, no one did.
We continue to attend our own hearing, singing funeral dirges with our friendly and incompetent lawer.
Without remit, I burn the candle at both ends, watching my time of sleep getting shorter with ever shallow breath, every mere glimpse,
but it is not happiness, it is much less than that,
a momentary distraction from the horrors of it all, the unsolved problems of my life, and its so sad, to know that there was a time when I was not running away from myself.
I raise my fists in anger. I must swing at this enemy, to fight my good fight. But there is no enemy but myself. I lower my head once again, and cry softly, sobbing the weary lost hopes and dreams which I used to cling to so dear, the ones which proved only slightly to high.
They are gone.
She is gone.
The world is gone.
I wish I too could disappear like so many things I have loved, but alas, I only fade and drink in a dire attempt to forget myself, the world and her.
It never works though.